Katie Baldwin believes many things can be true at the same time
Living in Dublin, easing into big life transitions and nostalgia for American food
Katie Baldwin is an American who has studied, lived and worked in Dublin for the last six years. We were introduced through a mutual friend in a way that felt totally magical. (Shoutout to you for connecting us, Mel!) The first time we hung out, when I was in Dublin for a brief visit, we ended up having one of those amazing first friend dates where we drank Aperol spritzes and talked at each other almost too fast and I went home totally wired, yelling at Peter that I have a friend here now!!!
Of course I had to interview Katie, who has been such a comforting wealth of information as I prepare to make a similar big move. I hope you’ll get the same feeling of warmth and coziness from reading this that I do every time we chat.
Christine: Tell me what initially drew you to Dublin.
Katie: I decided to move to Dublin to do my master’s degree. I’d always known I would love the idea of living abroad at some point in my life, and I found this perfect little niche program in Heritage Management and Conservation at University College Dublin. It was one year long, and I was like, let’s do it.
So I moved here thinking it would be a one-year degree and maybe a second year of work visa, because that was part of the appeal of the program, that I could stay for another year. And now, six years later I’m still here. I’m married, we’ve bought a house, it’s real and I live here now. (laughs)
Christine: Congratulations on the house, by the way!
Katie: Thanks. It’s been the longest process, but we finally have keys and we’ll be in by the end of the month.
Christine: Tell me about the transition period - from being like I’m here for two years to realizing I live here. What did that look and feel like?
Katie: That’s a really good question. What was helpful about it, actually, was that I never felt like I was making some big decision. I kind of eased into it - I graduated from my master’s, got a job, and was working that job. I’ve been with Ronan since the second night that I moved here, so I had a very soft landing.
Christine: Which is so cute.
Katie: I got extremely lucky - I met him three weeks before I was due to move to Ireland, and then on my second evening we got drinks and I was like okay, you. You’re mine now. And it was really only this year, even, that we were like, oh, we’re buying a house. We’re doing this. Because when I met you, we thought we were moving back to the US. It’s a weird thing. I would love to be closer to my friends and family in the US, but I love living here. There’s so much good here, and I genuinely enjoy it.
Christine: What are the pros for you? What makes you feel glad you’re staying?
Katie: Dublin the city is the biggest part of it for me. I just absolutely fell in love. It’s the history, it’s the culture, it’s the whole vibe of the place. I walk around, and I love it. It’s just a palpable love for Dublin. And also, what’s cool about this particular ecosystem is that everything is so much closer. Even if I were back in the US, my friends and family would still be spread out all over the country. Whereas here, everyone is twenty minutes away, max.
And then of course, you can get into the healthcare, maternity leave, and paid vacation for 25 days of the year, all that. (laughs)
Christine: I notice that with Peter’s friend group a lot. Every week, a huge group of people get together. In New York, it’s just so hard to go places! Like, I have friends, but the chances of us getting together from different boroughs that often to do stuff - it just literally has never happened in my experience, living here.
Katie: Things seem to happen more easily in Dublin.
Christine: When was the tipping point for you that Dublin started to feel like home, and you felt like you really lived there?
Katie: It’s fun to think about - I don’t think I’ve reflected on that. I think it’s when Ronan and I started to live together, and that’s kind of a cheesy answer, but it got really fun. It felt like I was putting down roots, because we had our own apartment - before that, I was living out of my suitcases. And then, it came with the extension of his friends, and then working here you get your own community, so that’s when I got settled. A big part of it was also the master’s I was doing - we were studying the city, and I couldn’t help but get attached to it.
Christine: I feel that a little bit too, living in New York, because by American standards New York is so old - but it’s no comparison with Dublin. It’s very cool.
Katie: Yes! And it’s so layered. You can be walking a street in Temple Bar, where American tourists are paying too much to drink Guinness, and there’s like a viking ruin next to a Georgian building, and you’re just like, what is happening?
Christine: What have been the hardships for you? What do you miss?
Katie: Happy to answer this one. I can be delighted with my life here, and also, at the same time, feel such genuine - to be honest - rage that sprinkles are a different color. Tiny things like that will get under my skin, and I don’t even know why. Recently for example, I tried to get a bagel at this new coffee shop near us - and it’s like, bagels! Sign me up! And what I got was basically this, like, rock-hard disk with some cream cheese on the side. And I was like, no. No. This isn’t it. So I think it’s just weird creature comforts that I miss.
Christine: I totally understand. It’s like - okay. First of all, all I want in Ireland is red pepper flakes -
Katie: (gasps)
Christine: And I’ve never seen them! Where are they? They’re nowhere.
Katie: You are making me feel so sane. I don’t know.
Christine: I always bring Peter American foods when I visit. Last time I brought some Bisquick mix to make pancakes, and I was like, I can’t wait to nostalgically have this. And Katie… he watered the mix down and made it into like, crepe things for Pancake Tuesday!
Katie: No!
Christine: And I was actually really sad. I couldn’t believe how sad I was. I was just like, I needed this connection to America.
Katie: I feel that in my soul, and I’m so sorry that happened to you.
Christine: I also feel like the sandwiches are so much worse in Ireland. That’s one thing where I’m like - there is huge money to be made for anyone who sells actual good sandwiches in this country.
Katie: I completely agree. Where is, like, just a good roast turkey sandwich?
Christine: Everything is dry and kind of weird. Any sandwich that Peter has in New York, he has this life-changing moment - he’ll be like, I didn’t know a sandwich could taste like this. And it’s always just like, a $4 bodega sandwich.
Katie: It’s true. It doesn’t have to just be ham and cheese.
Christine: I also think it’s insane that in Ireland, an actual type of sandwich is crisps on bread. Like, they give Americans so much shit, but we wouldn’t even do that here. No one would think that’s okay.
Katie: With butter!
Our office did that one day - they literally made a whole spread of white bread, butter, and TAYTO crisps. And they were like, enjoy! Just in the middle of our work day.
Christine: Like, obviously I think - chips can be good on sandwiches, for the crunch element. But just chips on a sandwich? It’s not okay.
Katie: It’s like shrapnel! It’s too sharp.
Christine: Did I tell you about the time I went to that restaurant in Dublin and I tried to order a medium-rare burger, and they were just like, no.
Katie: No!
Christine: So I asked why, and the waitress says, “well, we cook all of them to well-done at the beginning of the evening, and then we reheat them to serve.” I was like.. I’ve figured out why your sandwiches are so bad, Ireland. Like, in America they don’t even pre-cook burgers at McDonald’s.
Katie: I can’t even believe she said that out loud. That is shocking. And it was very American of you, anyway, to even suggest a substitution or change. That’s just not done.
And then when I go home to the US I’m like, “I’d like this sandwich! Dressing on the side. Can I add cheese to that?” You can make, like, ten different requests, no big deal. And in Ireland, you basically shot the waitress.
Christine: I also find the whole tipping situation so confusing. I never understand when to tip, and I feel weird saying the tip I want to add out loud. I’d rather have time to have the receipt, think about the amount, add a decent tip.
Katie: I’m with you - I am not comfortable with tipping here, I don’t know how to do it. People will visit me and be like, “how do I tip?” And I’m like, “I don’t know.”
Christine: What advice do you have for me?
Katie: I had a moment earlier today where I was like - if I was talking to someone who was moving here - so, to you - what would I want you to know? And mainly - it’s that you can both miss home and also be really happy in this new place. It’s a weird dichotomy, but both can be true.
Christine: Both can be true!
Katie: It’s my favorite phrase. My sister gave it to me. Passing on the advice.
Part of it was how long it can take to build community, and friends. When I first moved here, I was hanging out with a lot of people where I felt like - this isn’t my tribe, but I’m doing it anyway. And so, just kind of keep going - hopefully that’s not how you feel about me! (laughs)
Christine: Whenever you were saying that Ronan was your soft landing, I was like, Katie! That is you for me! Awww.
Katie: That makes me so happy to be your soft landing. I love that.
Christine: Did Ronan have a lot of friends already? Because that’s my situation with Peter, and it can make me feel self-conscious, in a way.
Katie: I know just what you mean. All of Ronan’s friends are here. I always felt like I was joining his friends, and I never had anywhere to go on my own. And I think that’s why - I have a friend here, Jane, who’s wonderful, and I only ever hung out with her without Ronan because I was like, this is my friend!
So you hold tight to those people. Because you’re in this new environment, you’re exposed for a long time - and I think I became very much, like, my authentic self here. So attracting your tribe just takes a while.
Christine: How did you eventually start meeting friends?
Katie: It was through people. Like, Mel connected me to you, and Ronan and his friends started a softball league, so I met another friend that way.
The main thing is that it does just take time, and to stick it out, I guess. And it’s so worth it. And I think, for myself, anyway - I found out more about myself through the process, and really - I tapped in to who I am, and what I want. The whole thing was so good for me as a person.
Christine: I think about that a lot, leaving New York. Because I’ve based a lot of my identity on being a woman who is making it in New York, and lives alone here, and now I’m like - who will I be when I don’t live alone in New York anymore? But, of course, I’ll still be someone.
Katie: Yes! Exactly. You’ll still be you, but you’ll be adding whole other dimensions that are interesting.
Christine: Fascinating. That is so true. But also - (screams a little)
Any parting thoughts for me?
Katie: The consensus that I’ve formed from living here so long - longer than I ever thought I would - is just what I said earlier: so much can all be true. You can have a wonderful time, and you can miss home painfully. And you can be so happy here, and also, you can hate the bagels. There’s just so much that is true at the same time. But ultimately, it’s just been the best, most wonderful experience. And I’m so glad you’re moving here. It’s been a joy.
Thanks, as always, for being here. If you enjoyed this interview, make sure to read the previous one I did with Kayla, a recent expat from New York to Milan.
Reading this essay was like eating a REAL bagel ❤️ So comforting and lovely.